King of the Hill: The Ultimate Ending
by Eulogy94
Summary: The Hill's have an arising issue, and it smells like blood and pizza
1. Part 1: The Turtle Issue

**King of the Hill: A Turtle Problem**

**Part I**

Arlen Texas, the days were hot, the beer was cold, and the steak was grilled to perfection over a propane grill. It was a normal day for Hank Hill, he'd woke up and gone to work, come home and drank a few Alamo Beers with his good buddies in the alley, and then grilled some delicious dinner for him and his family. What wasn't normal, though, was how the day would end.

Hank sat down in the den with Peggy and Bobby, watching a rerun of Jag on TV, when he heard a strange sound outside.  
"Damn it, I tell you what, what in the name of... what could that be?"

Hank got up from his chair and peeked out the door of the kitchen into the back yard, but nothing was there. While he was up, he decided to go use the bathroom, as he'd had a few beers previously.

"Damn narrow urethra, been standin' here for got'dang 5 minutes... I tell you what."

After hank was finally done, he walked down the hall back to the living room and noticed the TV wasn't on and the room was dark. As he slowly crept into his living room, he could smell an odd must, like that of feet and pizza. He made it to the end of the hallway and peeked his head out, but it was too dark to see anything.

"Peggy, Bobby? Turn the got'dang lights back on!"

He heard no response, and a chill ran down his back, like a leak on a freshly cleaned propane tank. Hank slowly put one foot in front of another as he felt around the room trying to find the light switch. A faint giggle was heard behind him, and Hank realized this meant "bitniss." He found the switch and flipped it quickly. He could feel the breath of something behind him, something bigger than Peggy, Bobby, or Buck Strickland himself.

"You guys, I tell ya'what, if this is your idea of some got'dang prank, I'm gonna give you one chance to back off and cut the crap before I get mad. When I turn around, got'dang it, I tell ya'what, ya'better be gone and sittin'down, boy I tell ya'what. On the count of 3. 1... 2... 3..."

Hank quickly turned around, and let out a loud "BWAHAHAHA" at the sight of what now stood in front of him. The smell was now very strong and overpowering, but not powerful enough to distract him from what stood in front of him. He stood over six foot tall, had practically no clothes on, had a big wide grin, and two sets of nunchucks in his belt.

"This is gonna be radical, dude," said Michelangelo softly. His grin grew into a teeth exposed, all-out smile.

One more "BWHAHAHA" and a "Get your got'dang hands off me, you demon!" the fun was starting. Mikey smacked the propane out of Hank's head with his nunchuck, sending him flying to the ground. Everything went dark for him, and a while later he awoke in his garage. He quickly noticed he was tied and gagged. He squirmed there trying to get out of the restraints, and noticed both Peggy and Bobby were gagged and tied up as well. He lied there a while, reflecting on his previous interaction with the creature he'd seen.

"Wake up, dorks! Time for some tubular fun!" Mikey shouted out, echoing through the garage. He paced around, checking on them all, making sure they were awake. He then grabbed Peggy and sat her on the bench.

"Listen here, big-foot. If you scream once, I'll fucking kill you and your whole family. Don't think I won't! Radical, bitch!" He then ripped the gag from Peggys mouth, while tears ran down her masculine face and dripped onto her shirt, getting it nice and wet for Mikey. A muffled "put her down," or something similar was heard coming from Hank's mouth. He looked like his eyes were about to pop out of his head. Mikey quickly kicked him in the stomach before proceeding with Peggy. Puke filled Hank's mouth and covered the gag. Mikey was getting turned on.

Mikey turned back around to Peggy and looked her in the eyes. She'd never seemed so upset to Hank, yet the lack of expression on her face contradicted that.

"Let's play a little game, Mrs. Hill. I'm gonna ask you a question, if I like your answer, I'll let you live and we can pretend this never happened. If I don't, well, you'll see."

Peggy nodded in agreement, looking down at the now terrified Bobby.

"Alright, you ugly bitch. Where's your fucking pizza?"

"We, we don't have any here..", Peggy mumbled as her eyes began to water up again.

"Wrong answer, bitch!" Mikey yelled out, smacking her in the face with all three of his digits. Blood shot from her mouth and onto Bobby's innocent little face. Mikey's dick started to get hard, and he wasn't afraid to show it.

"W-well what was I su-supposed to say?"

"Tell me where I can get a slice of gnarly pie around here, bitch. You've got a strike against you, I'll give you one more chance."

"We… go to a place here in Arlen, it's called "Captain Bear's Pizza"... it's, it's for kids! Please don't go there!"

Mikey turned around a took a few steps toward the garage door. He then turned back around and grinned at Peggy.

"Wrong again, bitch", Mikey happily said out loud. He heard both Hank and Bobby try and yell out as he took two fast steps toward Peggy, then kicking her in the head with lightning fast ninja speed. Her head exploded onto the wall behind her, covering Hank's tools in blood and brain. Not a sound could be heard from the other two, the shock of what just happened had them speechless, just the way Mikey liked it. He pushed over the now decapitated corpse and took her pants off, then her shirt, and threw her on the floor.

"Radical! Isn't this fun, little cow-dudes! I've got a new game now, I love games, especially super rad games! Now, let's get jiggy, dudes! In this game, little Bobby bro here is going to put the moves on momma Peggy, and if I don't like it, his brain is going to be on the wall too! Excellent!"

Mikey then undressed Bobby and untied him just enough so that he could crawl around, but the gag remained present. Bobby's tears looked so sweet to Mikey, but he couldn't stand the sound of him being upset. Mikey cocked his arm back and smacked the fuck out of Bobby's mouth. The tears mixed with blood and Mikey's dick grew harder.

"Get down there and tear up that cooch, little man!" Mikey then began rubbing his big green shaft up and down, using Peggy's bloody brain to keep it lubed.

Bobby slowly mounted his mom, though he wasn't experienced, he knew deep inside this is something he'd dreamt of a long time, and jacked-off to often. His little dong was already rock hard, and the sight of his mother's unshaved vagina had the pre-cum oozing from his cock already. He slowly inserted his cock into his decapitated mother, loving every second of it. Hank couldn't stop staring at the act, about his own child fucking his now dead wife's body.

In nearly no time, Bobby had spent his load, and made Mikey very, very happy.  
"Little dude, you're alright! You go sit over there, I've got one more game to play." Mikey looked over at Hank. "You're gonna like this, Mr. Hill, you just wait!"


	2. Part 2: The Turtle Solution

**King of the Hill Part II: A Turtle Solution**

"Wrong again, bitch", Mikey happily said out loud. He heard both Hank and Bobby try and yell out as he took two fast steps toward Peggy, then kicking her in the head with lightning fast ninja speed. Her head exploded onto the wall behind her, covering Hank's tools in blood and brain. Not a sound could be heard from the other two, the shock of what just happened had them speechless, just the way Mikey liked it. He pushed over the now decapitated corpse and took her pants off, then her shirt, and threw her on the floor.

"Radical! Isn't this fun, little cow-dudes! I've got a new game now, I love games, especially super rad games! Now, let's get jiggy, dudes! In this game, little Bobby bro here is going to put the moves on momma Peggy, and if I don't like it, his brain is going to be on the wall too! Excellent!"

Mikey then undressed Bobby and untied him just enough so that he could crawl around, but the gag remained present. Bobby's tears looked so sweet to Mikey, but he couldn't stand the sound of him being upset. Mikey cocked his arm back and smacked the fuck out of Bobby's mouth. The tears mixed with blood and Mikey's dick grew harder.

"Get down there and tear up that cooch, little man!" Mikey then began rubbing his big green shaft up and down, using Peggy's bloody brain to keep it lubed.

Bobby slowly mounted his mom, though he wasn't experienced, he knew deep inside this is something he'd dreamt of a long time, and jacked-off to often. His little dong was already rock hard, and the sight of his mother's unshaved vagina had the pre-cum oozing from his cock already. He slowly inserted his cock into his decapitated mother, loving every second of it. Hank couldn't stop staring at the act, about his own child fucking his now dead wife's body.

In nearly no time, Bobby had spent his load, and made Mikey very, very happy.  
"Little dude, you're alright! You go sit over there, I've got one more game to play." Mikey looked over at Hank. "You're gonna like this, Mr. Hill, you just wait!"

Mikey let out a loud whistle and the garage door opened. In walked Leo, Raph, and Donnie. They all sat down in the middle of the garage and sat down a couple pizzas. Mikey closed the door behind them, then sat with them. They began indulging in the delicious pepperoni pizza topped with quail eggs and lamb fries. Hank and Bobby stared at them as they ate like pigs, and the anticipation of what they had planned was nearly giving Hank a heart attack.

The pizza was gone, but they still sat there and joked around, laughing, commenting on Mikey's fine work he had done. Leo got up and sniffed the gooey brain blood and head chunks all over the wall, rubbing his fat green cock. Raph sneaked up behind him, hugging him from behind, and Leo let out a groan of pleasure. Raph bent Leo over and sweet talked him like an Asian parent would sweet talk a new born handicapped child. Raph then began shoving fist-fulls of brain and goo into Leo's asshole, giving him immaculate pleasure that the whole room could feel.

Hank had blacked out, he was dreaming of standing in front of a Charmaster 4000, turning on the propane and throwing some steaks on that bad boy. Maybe a few beers with the guys. Mowing his lawn for a few hours. The smell of Dale's cigarettes were something he missed at that moment, the depression of Bill and his lack of good hygiene, and even the incomprehensible gibberish of Boomhauer. Hank had realized that he'd been taking all the sweet little things about this life that he loved for granted, and now his beloved wife Peggy was gone.

Hank snapped out of it and saw the turtles all fisting each other with pieces of Peggy, hopefully they were distracted enough for him to break free. The smell of his puke repulsed him, but he had to look past it. Hank luckily carried a pocket knife in his back pocket at all times that his father Cotten had given him many years ago. He managed to slide it out of his back pocket and open it with his tied up hands, and then began sawing away at the rope behind him until his hands were free. Though the excitement was hard to handle, he had to keep quiet and hope they didn't notice him trying to escape. Hank pulled the puke covered gag from his mouth and noticed Bobby still in the corner of the room.

Bobby sat there with glimmering eyes, watching the turtles fun in amazement, and Hank could tell Bobby wanted in on the fun.

"The boy ain't right, I tell ya'what…", was the only thought Hank had on the matter.

Luckily, the moaning of the turtles, and the utter screams of Donnie as his ass was demolished with now two fists, was so loud that they would never hear him sneaking out of the back door. He shut the door behind him softly, let out a strong sigh, and started running to his room.

He walked in and locked the door behind him. Quickly, Hank stripped naked and washed off his body quickly, and put on a crisp white cotton t-shirt, a faded pair of blue jeans, and the other usual items.

Hank dropped to his knees at the foot of his bed and put his hands together.

"Dear Lord, I tell ya'what. Please forgive me, for I'm 'bout to sin. Them got'dang turtles got my wife and boy, and I'm gonna set things straight, tell ya'what. Please protect my friends, even Bill, and my tools, and my got'dang propane accessories, boy. Amen."

Hank then reached under his bed and pulled out a heavy box. He stood up and sat it on his bed, and opened the top slowly. As the lid arose, a light began glowing from the inside. Hank shielded his eyes in their bright glory at first until they adjusted, then he took in all their marvelous light. There sat the seven Dragon Balls in all their glory, and Hank knew what he had to do.


	3. Part 3: The Turtle Solution (cont)

**King of the Hill: The Ultimate Ending**

**Part III: The Turtle Solution (cont.)**

Hank quickly summoned Shenron, watching the room grow dark, the house vibrate. The whole room began falling apart before him as the dragon emerged.

"What the actual fuck, dudes?", Mikey yelled out to his teenage mutant ninja brothers. Him and the turtles quit fisting each other, shock painted on their faces as the dragon grew taller and taller. The house was completely demolished at this point, luckily the debris was keeping the turtles away from Hank.

"Why have you summoned me, puny propane salesman?"

"Mighty Shenron, I tell ya'what, I need your help to defeat these got'dang Teenage Mutified Samurai Reptiles, or whatever the hell they are. They just ain't right, tell ya'what. Can ya'just kill'em for me? Give'em the old smack'a the hand of God?"

"No!", Shenron shouted. "I will grant you any two wishes, but killing these mildly pedophillic, sick and disgusting, foul, demented sick fucks is beyond the power of a meer dragon god such as myself."

"I see… any two wishes then. Well, my first wish… is…" Hank couldn't decide. He knew deep in his heart that he should bring his longtime wife Peggy back to life if he could. Yet, temptation got the best of Hank."

"Mighty Shenron, my first wish… is to eliminate charcoal grills, charcoal accessories, and charcoal itself from existence."

"Mr. Hill, you're fucking kidding me right? That's the first wish you ask of me?"

Hank stood there with a big grin, looking up at the mighty dragon.

"Fine… it is done. I shall grant you one last wish. What is it, I don't have the time to stay here all day."

"Shenron, sir, I wish… to be one with the propane. Make it's clean burnin' goodness part of me in the form of supernatural powers. Make me a propane god, got'dang it."

The dragon looked displeased, as if he wished to facepalm himself.

"So it shall be, you strange fuck."

Hank could feel his body changing. He fell to the ground and began shaking as if he was having a seizure. His body shifted around, changing shape, becoming something new. A minute or so passed, and he stood again. The turtles were only feet away, shocked by what they'd seen, commenting on the dragon and how the balls shot away after he disappeared.

Hank stood and saw that he looked no different in the piece of mirror on the ground within the rubble of his now demolished house. He did notice he was now wearing a bracelet, which in Hank's eyes may have been the most homosexual thing a man could do, but he couldn't take it off. It seemed to be bonded to him.

"What the, bwahah! God damn you Shenron, you made me look gay!" Hank tried once more to take it off, but noticed a button on it as his finger ran across it. Hank hesitantly pressed the button, confusion had overcome his mind, but at this point anything seemed possible.

He could feel his skin hardening and enlarging. His body was now as hard as the steel a propane tank was made from. He took on a robotic appearance, lots of panels, valves, tubes. He felt like an armored warrior. On his side was a flaming grill hose whip. On the wrist of each hand he had a valve with a small flame in front of them. As he felt one with this new body, he imagined the valves opening quickly as he raised his arms to the turtles. And so they did, shooting large balls of flame at them, sending them flying back.

Hank looked down at the mirror once more, admiring his sexy new form. He looked like a total badass, even his lame glasses had turned into a brutal visor to shield his eyes.

"So you turtle shits, I'm feeling like having some fun. Who wants to have a little fun, play a game?"

Mikey instantly came toward him with a smirk on his face. "I love games, Hankey!"

"I've got a game for you, boy, tell ya'what." Hank grinned. It was about to begin.


	4. Part 4: What The Fuck Is Going On

**King of the Hill: The Ultimate Ending**

**Part IV: What The Fuck Is Going On**

Hank stood and stared at Mikey, both of them grinning their biggest grin, ready to attack. Hank dropped to his knees and Mikey slowly crept toward him. Mikey fell to his knees as well and wrapped his arms around Hank, giving him a tight, emotional hug. In the background the rest of the turtles were doing some strange ass cabaret dance or something, singing a really gay sounding tune.  
"I'm ready Hank, let's play."

Hank softly kissed Mikey on the lips, closing his eyes and taking in all the glory. Bobby rushed over and stood to their side, quickly pulling his pants down and stroking his cock with his chubby little hands. Bobby's ass started spurtting out warm gooey shit, down his leg and onto his pants around his ankles.

"Boy, that's how ya'do it." Hank softly wispered to Bobby, breaking his soft, long kiss from Mikey. For once in Bobby's life, Hank made him feel worthy, made him feel loved. Bobby shot his load onto his father's face, and all Hank could do is smile.

"Cowabunga, dudes!" Mikey blurted out right before licking the warm adolesent jizz from Mr. Hill's face. Mikey was so distracted by the delicious cum licking that he didn't see what was coming next. Hank shoved one of his fists into Mikey's reptile chest, lodging the end of one of his propane-flame valves deep inside him. Mikey's smiling, cum covered face quickly turned into a face of sorrow and surprise as Hank turned the knob on the valve.

Mikey's body burst into thousands of pieces, and the sound was hotter than fuck. The squish of his chunks, the sound of blood hitting the ground from it's descent into the sky, the sizzle of hot remains; all of this got Hank hot, but Bobby hotter.

Hank could see the turtles in the distance stop dancing and instead jacking off. They ran toward the warm remains, dicks in hands, yelling and shouting about how hot it was with their lame late 80s and 90s surfer fag talk. They all dropped and started eating the remains, not even bothering to pick the bits of house out of it. Hank, with Bobby to his side, put his hand on his shoulder and smiled. It appeared it was all overwith now, and life could go on, not the same, but different, better.

The entire town gathered around the site as it all ended and obsereved the dismantled and destroyed house and the deceased anthropomorphic turtle being eating by three others, and the fact that Hank looked like a pyromanic version of Iron Man on a super low, propane salesman budget.

Dale looked at hank, cigarette in mouth, and started clapping, and soon the whole town joined in. Bill took the opportunity to do something he'd always wanted to. Assuming everybody was distracted by Hank's masculine and hot body, and Bobby's chubby little young chode, Bill stripped down and exposed his fully naked body. His sweat glistened in the hot Texas sun. He dropped to the ground, stomach down, head touching the pavement, and putting all his weight on his knees. He began scooting as fast as he could while his head stayed on the ground. The friction of the pavement against his face began tearing it off in little bloddy chunks. Soon, it started ripping his chest of penis off, due to the roughly 55 mph speed he'd reached.

The trail of blood Bill was leavng behind, skin chunks and all, was just the extra hotness that Hank needed at this point to get off. Hank pressed the button on his bracelet again to retract his steel suit. He appeared human once more, and human he was; a sick human at that. He bent Bobby over the remains of their couch, still on fire, and unbottoned his blue jeans. Bobby smiled as his head smacked the seat cushion and a tear ran down his face. But that tear was nothing compared to the tears that he was about to let out.

Hank let loose on Bobby's ass with all 35 inches of his Arlen Jackhammer, as Louanne always called it. It went deep into his son's ass, into his colon, giving Hank the deepest and tightest pleasure he'd ever had.

A Midget in a Bikini ran up to Hank, mid sodomy, with a mic in his hands, excited as could be. "Hank, Hank Hill!" he yelled out.  
"Mr. Hill, the town of South Park and both Arlen wish to build you and your son a totally rediculous and expensive space shuttle to launch into space! We'll be using the technology from the USS Enterprise to build it, we actually have Captain Picard on the phone right now!"  
At the sound of Picard, Hank's cock erupted into Bobby's now deceased body, as he'd lost too much blood from his violent ass-pounding, though he died with a smile on his face.

"A space shuttle? Could... could I meet Mr. Picard? Gimme that got'dang phone, son. Lemme talk to the master." Hank snatched the midget's phone and put it up to his ear. "Hello, Captain? It's me, Hank Hill! I'm your biggest fan, I've had dreams of getting my ass plowed by you in space, and if you could make that a reality for me, well by'god I'd switch to charcoal..."

He heard a click on the phone and realized he'd been hung-up on. Hank doesn't like people playing around on his phone, because Hank keeps it real. But Hank was about to find out when keeping it real goes wrong.


	5. Part 4: The Visitor

**King of the Hill: The Ultimate Ending**

**Part V: The Visitor**

Hank began sprinting to Strickland Propane, his place of employment, pushing through the people around him violently. The day was now growing dark, and Hank had to hurry before it closed. Sadly, Hank had forgotten something: There were still three turtles left to kill. He could hear footsteps running behind him, and turned his head to see what it was. To no surprise, the turtles were on his tail, and gaining on him quickly.

Hank tripped in a pot-hole in the ground and began falling in slow motion, roughly 4x slow motion, maybe closer to 6x, but it was very hard to call just how slow he had began falling in slow motion. It was really slow, but not like, he wasn't moving at all, but like, it was gonna be about 30 seconds until he hit the ground slow, although it might not have taken so long, and like, the turtles behind him were running in slow motion, and it was probably the same speed that Hank was falling, like, 4x or 6x, and like, they were totally going fast in real time, but now they weren't because it was slowed down. Also, everythingn was grey, and really slow and dramatic and stuff because it was grey. And sounds were really stretched out, just like when things are in slow motion. Not super slowed down and stretched out, but like, pretty slow and stretched because it was all in slow motion really slow, like the sound was slowed down by probably 4x or 6x, maybe not so much, but somewhere around there. And there were these really dramatic and deep modulated bass boom sounds that were really cinematic and were used in Hollywood blockbusters and stuff, the kind played when cool dramatic slow motion scenes happen, like things Michael Bay would use in his slow motion, like slowed down to around 4x or 6x probably, but it was hard to tell.

Hank finally hit the ground after what seemed like a century, and his face smacked the pavement, sending blood flying. The second he opened his eyes, 3 large turtles stood around him grinning, holding their fat green schlongs, patting them. Leo rolled his body over and tore his pants off, exposing his flat, pale ass. He proceeded to smack it a few times, leaving a big red hand print on his ass. Hank began blushing and rubbing his nipples. Hank got on his knees and put his ass in the air at Leo's command.

"Alright Hankey, bite the pavement."

Hank bit down on the edge of the pot-hole and tasted his blood. He'd never been so happy in his life, all he could think about was later fucking Bobby's and Peggy's dead bodies and eating them when he'd finished spending his load. Hank suddenly felt Leo enter his ass with no lube, deep and hard, tearing his anus. Hank's body began to split from the brutal fucking he was recieving and realized that, even though the pleasure was astounding, he might not survive if he didn't fix it.

"Wait one got'dang minute, now!" Hank yelled at Leo as he pressed the button on his bracelet. Hank began changing shape into his more ultimate form.

The fight was about to begin, right after Leo finished jacking off, as Hank had given him the bluest of balls. Suddenly, a light flicker was seen in the sky, and soon a small object was flying toward them from the sky. It grew closer and closer, and got bigger and bigger. The object slowed as it neared and landed before them all in glory. The cockpit opened and smoke rolled out.

Zim took his first step onto the ground and looked less than pleased. He pulled out a large alien weapon and destroyed the turtles in only one blast. Zim looked at Hank, watchingn him cower and shake. Even though he was armored, he had never been so scared in his life, and piss began dribbling from his steel suit.

"I come to Earth again, human! I am in search, in search of what you might ask? It is simple, fool! I demand the Dragon Balls! I want them now, or face certain doom!"


End file.
